Friday, May 28, 2021

I am running out of time, it feels like. Byproduct of being so busy at work. Starts to leach into the outside. Perhaps I can channel this emotional effluence and sluice out something useful. What I'm tired of is being passive. 

No, what I'm tired of is not creating things. Disorder, disorganization, dissonance. A little chaos is fine; it's the clutter I can't stand.

Things might get interesting here if I don't figure out this prescription thing between my doctor and the pharmacy. Each is saying the other isn't sending what they need. I can probably get a way with a few days without but I'll probably have to tape my mouth shut so I don't grump at everyone.

Long weekend coming up, so I will enjoy it while it lasts. 

Twitch streaming? I'm still doing that. I don't think anybody watches me, but I do like having the ability to record my gameplay and pull clips of wacky moments. Not that I have, or will but I like that the option exists. 

Going out to dinner tonight with some old friends. How delightful!

Thursday, May 27, 2021

I'm going to miss not being the only one in the office. I'll have to play my music in my headphones again instead of just through my phone speakers. I liked having uncluttered ears, dang it.

The treadmill walking was nice yesterday. Emma came on to the chat and we talked for a bit. Really took my mind of the actual walking which was nice. I'm steadily building back to where I was before the Tiki convention.

Did I mention I was propositioned (sexually) at the convention? A pretty blonde woman who appeared a bit drunk came up to me and said "So what do you want to do?" I asked her what she meant. She said "I'm here, you're here, so what do you want to do?" I did what I usually do and began discussing philosophy. "It is bad when one thing becomes two" and I think I brought up Tolstoy "What is not given to man is to know his own needs". She kept turning the conversation back to saucier topics. What puzzled me was that her husband was sitting right there. He looked completely out of it and was slumped in a chair in the hotel lobby. She had gestured to him early in the conversation and said something like "Look at my husband; he's useless!" 

After going around and around for a bit, I asked if she would like a hug. She said she would. I gave her a big hug and said it was nice talking to her. Then I went back to my hotel room. 

Wednesday, May 26, 2021

Started watching a video about how motivation works and schooling is built on a mistaken idea of grading as an accurate measure of skill but I didn't finish it. I'll finish it. Rewards take away the joy was my takeaway. The joy of the thing. I wonder if the video answers if punishment takes away the joy of the thing? 

Fascinating stuff. 

I'm at work and I now have to take incoming calls from physicians with questions. I hate it because it interrupts whatever I was working on, but also I love it because I'm really really good at it. I'm supposed to kind of guide it to the person who can fix it but if I can fix it, I will fix it. Going back to the the reward thing; I'm not measured on whether I solve the problem or not, but all my other work (that is being interrupted) is actively monitored and that might "motivate" me to not be as helpful. We'll see what happens. I like helping. It's strange, you know? My job is to help, and I enjoy it, and the main stressor is the time in which I have to do it. Feeling like I can't really accomplish what I want to accomplish with the resources I have. Which is normal. Still, I resent this very normal and mundane aspect of life.

Oh, we got a new dishwasher today! Woo-hoo!

What a world.

I've been experimenting with fire. I don't like the hair on my knuckles and I saw this barber trick where they use lighters to singe off ear hair and I thought, hey why not.

It works, although the smell of burning hair tends to linger.


Tuesday, May 25, 2021

And now we return. To what? To the discoteca. 

Yesterday, I used the power of math to attempt to improve my life. I used a tape measure to ensure that my treadmill was the correct distance from the wall, that is, not askew. It raises up and down when I use it, and in doing so shifts slightly over time. I have long suspected that when it gets too offset it causes more pain in my knees and feet since I'm walking at a slight angle.

After walking on my newly-mathed treadmill yesterday, I feel no pain in my knees or feet this morning. This is only corollary evidence, not causal, but it's a good sign. My little victories.

My buddy Ryan is having a bachelor party in a cabin in the woods. Hopefully we don't awaken any ancient evils and have to battle elder gods for the fate of humanity. I was promised whiskey tasting. 

Perhaps a cigar. I don't remember if I like cigars. They're a kind of evil?

Monday, May 24, 2021

I've been enjoying my bamboo garden, such as it is. The giant timber bamboo thrusts forth new shoots and it's very exciting. 

The buffelgrass grows around the bamboo stalks to steal the water. I weed-wack it down. Then I place the puppy gates back around the bamboo to protect it. I am briefly reminded of the Little Prince caring for his rose. The puppies gnash their teeth against the glass patio door in anger.

Someday perhaps the bamboo grove will envelop the entire yard, and it will be easier to basket-muzzle the pups instead. 

Or I will construct for them giant hamster-balls.