rockabilly past my bedtime

Rockabilly music on the radio (streaming platform algorithm). Hundreds of dollars of ink in my skin. Or rather, trapped in the belly of a great white macrophage. White blood cells forever trying to eat the pigment and die trying. Ours is not to reason why. 

Had a lot to do today. Got a lot to do tomorrow. Sleep would be wise but this time feels like mine and I want to wrap it around me. 

(This isn't really a brains kind of operation.)

Trying to drive to the stars. 

There is a journey ahead, I think. The road calls me. Sends text messages. Somehow slipped into my calendar app and schedules clandestine meetings in ghost towns and gold mines. 

I have no business there anymore. The cardinal directions retired and now it's all geographic coordinate systems and left turns into traffic. 

I'm cozy now; and the whir of the fan covers up the sounds of chewing.

Friday the 13th

Technically yesterday, but I don't consider a day over until I've slept. 

There was no bad luck. Not near me anyway. I got a little sleepy around midday but that's normal. 

There are so many adventures going on; the bad luck must be too busy to find me. 

It's also because, like the majestic capybara, I do not behave like prey. I stride boldly and foolishly out into the world, and pretend I know exactly where I'm going, and Fate hardly notices. 

Fate looks for those who are lingering at thresholds, trying to tiptoe between two worlds, and grappling with grand choices. That's where Fate likes to reach out and tip things one way or the other, like a cat when it sees a glass of water. 

I don't actually know why I escape notice. Maybe I just look like a puddle. 

Tree Rings

I've been thinking about tree rings. Annual growth rings that are thicker and thinner depending on how good or how difficult the year. 

Metaphorically this should be a slam dunk but I'm just not feeling it right now. 

Middle of the day

It's the middle of the day and I'm thinking of you and how you'd probably say it's a bad idea to keep ostriches for the sole purpose of making giant omelettes out of their eggs because yeah the eggs are much bigger but regular chickens lay eggs more frequently so you get more eggs overall from the chicken, and also if a chicken are not able to unleash a sudden axe kick into your balls. 

Well maybe some of the fancier chicken breeds might be able to, but not nearly as hard as a 200-pound ostrich. 

I guess you're right. 

Last night, I got a text at 2 AM. I rolled over and groggily checked my phone. The text just said "fuck you". I laughed and went back to sleep. 

When I woke up, the text was gone. I don't think it was ever really there. I think I only dreamed it. I have a Do Not Disturb mode that kicks on between 11 PM and 7 AM so only a select few people can actually trigger my notifications, and this person wasn't one of them. 

I've heard that people aren't supposed to be able to read in dreams. Something about how the language processing part of the brain is a different area than the part where dreams happen. 

I don't know much about it. I can read in dreams. Maybe because my eyes are weird. 

I have "Visual Snow Syndrome." I see static when I close my eyes. I also see it when I open my eyes. Except it doesn't interfere with my vision. It's... underneath everything. 

I don't know what any of this means. 

Surely it's nothing to worry about. 

Goodnight! Sweet dreams. 

 There's a sword-fighting gym that I have been meaning to check out. Er, Historical European Martial Arts gym. (They also teach you how to use a polearm, which we all know is the far superior weapon.) While I do secretly long to be an amazing swordfighter, my primary reason is to find something I can do with my nephews and friends that is also a kind of "moving-around" activity that could promote health if done regularly. Like an exercise, but not boring. And it has the built-in motivation of getting to hit people. 

And you get to wear armor!

Oh, I'm here. Winding down for the evening. I'm quite cozy in this chair. Feels like I could fall asleep right here. That would be a funny thing. Because I'd fall out of the chair at some point. My reflexes are pretty good though. I'm sure I'd wake up in time to appreciate the full impact of hitting the floor.

Bedtime. Goodnight!

***

Okay I'm back. I didn't like how we left things, so here I am again. I'm not fooling myself into thinking something magical is going to happen this time, but maybe we can make a better ending.

One thing I meant to talk about but didn't remember until I got into bed was that I've been taking a quick shower when I get home from work. I like feeling clean and the act of showering seems to reset my brain. 

So yes, showers are great and probably magical. This is a better ending.