Been very busy trying to create an ambient space for ideas to gestate. 

Okay, no I haven't. I've been looking up the difference between alpacas and llamas. I thought I would know instinctively, but I guess I don't know my even-toed ungulates as well as I thought. 

Size: Alpacas are small. Llamas are large. 

Face: Llamas got the long face. Lamentably long, is how I'll remember that. 

Hair: Alpacas have shaggy hair that is finer than llama hair, and makes really nice wool. So when in doubt, I'll make a sweater out of the hair and the nicer one is probably the alpaca. 

(Besides the alpaca and the llama, there are two other extant lamoids: the guanaco and the vicuña. I'm sleepy so I'm not going to try to think of mnemonic devices for telling them apart. I'll leave that problem for future, South American Guillermo to figure out.)

We're close enough to the train tracks that when it goes by, the mirrors in our house rattle against the walls. The train rarely runs at night, but when it does, at least it never blows its horn. I'll wake up sometimes, to silence, and wonder if it passed by and I was just now waking up. 

Zoo

Yesterday was great. I went to the Phoenix Zoo. The last time I had gone, the hyena was dead. Presumably, it's still dead, but the point is that I really like hyenas and I was sad about it. The zoo has a new hyena exhibit, and they've done a few other cool things also. The weather was extremely pleasant. 

It's an excellent zoo. One of the best in the country, in my opinion. 

Now it's bedtime. 

I wonder if I'll dream of animals.

Caught The Air

Sometimes I think I hear an ocean. The wind over waves. Dropping anchors in safe harbors. 

Can't leave footprints in an ocean. Not like the desert, in all this sand. 

There is so much to see. 

I'm in bed at a reasonable hour (for me anyway). I'll get up early tomorrow and try to see. 

Oh yeah and I've got this chocolate bread stuff to eat for breakfast. That's gonna be good. 

today

I've had a slight headache today. That's unusual for me. 

I went to the funeral of Grandma Liem today. Also unusual. 

It wasn't called a funeral; it was a "celebration of life." And it was. There was as much laughter as there were tears. 

She wasn't my biological grandmother; she was my mom's godmother. An all-around great person. I probably wouldn't be here without her, since she had a hand in my parents getting together. 

Later in the evening, Barbara, Ender, and I went to see Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die. It was wild. 

Sometimes I feel like I know exactly what I'm doing, and sometimes I feel like I have no idea. 

 Usually multiple times, throughout the span of a single day. 

Today is a beautiful day. 

Feb 9th

It's not yet midnight yet; that means there's time to write. 

Because it's not the future yet. Still plenty of time to capture the moment. 

Sweep away the half-muttered curses that have gathered in the corners. 

Whatever hurt me is probably still out there but it isn't here now. 

Check the cobwebs for answers. 

This sounds morose but I'm going for contemplative. I'm just so used to seeing beauty in all things ya know? 

The Three C's is something I've been thinking about. I forget where I heard this...

Create. Create something every day. 

Community? Do something with other people. Maybe it was Connect. That sounds right. Talk to people. Go see 'em and stuff. Leaving the house can be annoying because you have to put on pants but you can also get to put on fun socks. 

Cherish. I think it meant to appreciate any dang old thing that is pretty cool but maybe we take for granted. Like a cookie.

Cookie also starts with "c". 

I've been dreaming so much lately. And I already dream a lot. I wake up and feel like I've lived a dozen lives.

It's interesting. Kind of feels like cheating. Most people only get one life, and here I am with more than I know what to do with. 

It does feel like it gets lost when I wake up. Lessons are learned, but most slip away by the time I've brushed my teeth. 

I'll keep practicing. 

Playlists, lately

I've been listening to haunting ballads of monsters slain, devils outsmarted, and lovers lost. Sea shanties and land lamentations. Whistling, clapping, snapping, thumping of bodhran and droning of hurdy-gurdy. 

I pretend I'm floating on a quiet patch of ocean, on a sailboat built from stolen wood.