Friday, August 06, 2021

Perhaps all the mistakes I've made have put me in a good position to give advice. My first piece of advice would be that every piece of advice is useful, but never completely accurate.

I'm listening to "Hold On When You Get Love And Let Go When You Give It" by Stars. It's made me thoughtful. 

I love the line "Take the weakest thing in you/ And then beat the bastards with it".

Yes, I do like this music thing.

It's a marvelous day. My bamboo is growing well. It suffered a little during that heat wave. It doesn't all grow particularly straight, but that's what I like about it. You do you, bamboo. I imagine it's reaching for more light. 

I know the feeling. 

Tuesday, August 03, 2021

Monday, August 02, 2021

There's certainly been a lot of self-reflection going on around here. It's always a good idea, I think. As long as it doesn't develop into crippling self-doubt. Even if it does, I guess I'm usually stubborn enough to power through it and keep going. If making an ass of myself were a real deterrent, I probably wouldn't be very good at anything. 

When I was streaming on Twitch and talking to people, I talked about how I used to be an incredibly shy, sensitive child and I felt like I was always ignored by people. Until one day, I'm not sure exactly when, I got tired of it and became loud and persistent. I decided that if people were going to ignore me, they'd have to put a lot more effort into it. I think I was always a friendly kid...the moodiness developed later.

I don't know. 

This Twitch thing has been interesting. I'm enjoying meeting new people. I worry that with my limited brain power, I can't really be a good friend to that many people, but I will try.

What else? The bamboo is recovering from the heat wave. Not sending up new shoots, except for Delta, but otherwise looking okay. The stalks aren't growing straight up. I'll have to look into that. Who says you need to grow straight, bamboo?! You are in my family now and you grow how you want!

What's weird (and this is weird) is that I seem to be working harder at my job now that I feel a little more fulfilled outside of it. Is that normal? 

I realized I used the word "fulfilled" but that's not quite right. I'm content; I think it is that I fluctuate between social butterfly and desert hermit. Maybe talking to people makes me think less about myself? 

Maybe it's also the fun of learning something new. Go brain go!