Wednesday, January 27, 2021

Even though I'm much less interested in getting tattoos than I was in my twenties, I still feel a temptation for the "runes" from Bloodborne, the video game. Specifically, the one that symbolizes the hunter character. Looks like this:
In the game, there a bunch of these runes. It's the style and atmosphere of the game that I enjoy so much. After all the horror and cosmic horror I've consumed, it was in this game that I felt a real connection to the material. Because what a game can do is make you feel the emotional journey, in miniature, of being constantly beaten down by a world you don't really understand. The game says "Hey, go do this thing. You don't need to know why. You can try to understand why, but it won't really matter or even change anything. There's only a few outcomes, some worse than others, but none of them are good." And then I say, as the player, "Hold my blood vial" and put myself through it anyway. 

All things are but pasteboard masks, and in that striving, I see the living thing straining underneath. That is what I strike.To paraphrase Ahab.

Unlikely I will get another tattoo. I'd rather prefer not to have any tattoos at this point, although I don't mind them exactly. I see them as things I like, and they're fine. Then again, that was my initial approach; to get tattoos of things I like but aren't so meaningful that they need to stand up under the weight of some grand idea of myself.

Not sure where I would place it. I've got kind of a symmetry going with my current placement. Left shoulder, right shoulder, chest. Hmm...maybe on the right leg. In the game, there's a superstition that beasthood creeps up the right leg. Maybe on my quadriceps, where the player characters inject their blood vials. My other tattoo approach was to not get them where they can be seen in my usual clothing. Again, I feel like a tattoo is equivalent to a person saying a thing over and over. Which is why actual sentences bother me so much. They just say that one thing every time. It's like "Here, I'll tell you exactly what to think." 

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