There is rarely a practical reason to do any of those things, and even if there were, I've met very few who could actually afford it.
I would direct you, instead, to our fine selection of curses. Surely there is someone who has wronged you and who, while perhaps not deserving of death, needs a little less happiness in their life.
Allow me to show you a few of them, to give you a general idea. Yes, they all have "official" names, but they're stupid and only hint at what they do. I prefer to list the descriptions.
Every sound they hear will be either too loud or too quiet, whichever is most inconvenient.
Every shower or bath feels freezing. (If it's hot enough to burn them, they will feel that so they can avoid injury; we're not monsters.)
Their breath will smell like a rotting yak, but only to themselves. They will always smell it when they open their mouth, and other people won't notice at all but they will feel like there's no way they don't and think they're just too nice to say that they reek.
Every stoplight they approach will be red.
Whenever they are out alone at night, they will see an ominous moose in the distance, heading slowly in their direction.
Their shoes will be always feel too big.
Oh, and here's one of the cruelest ones, in my opinion:
All animals will dislike them, even their own pets.
We can also customize them! One devilish girl was in yesterday and who wanted a curse that would make someone's boss be an incessant micro-manager, while ensuring the boss would never actually understand the tasks themselves. That was a tricky one, and it will only work while the person is under that specific boss, but honestly it is deliciously fiendish and I'm rather ashamed we didn't think of it ourselves.
Now, what can I get you?
THE END
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comments, questions, topic suggestions, and your vote for worst sentence can be made here: