What the heck is even happening. Oh yeah, I ordered a new chair. For sitting. It's going to be great; my rump-sense is tingling.

My Pebble watch is no longer supported. It will still work as an alarm, and as a watch, but no more push notifications. I'm pleased about the alarm aspect at least. No need to go back to the Stone-Age ways of setting an audio alarm. Might as well live in a cave.

Something I was supposed to do...but what? Get rid of crap. Definitely that. Got lots of crap around. Might be a good time to dismantle the storage shed too. I don't know. Oh wait, shade sails. I need concrete and buckets. And poles. To the concrete bucket pole store!

Grow, my pretties, grow! If you want to. I'm only telling you what to do under the assumption that we have a mutual understanding about free will and that I can't "make" you do anything. When I give a command like this, it's a form of encouragement, like an inner-voice except on the outside. An expression of our shared desire for a specific outcome in a world where nothing is certain. I guess what I mean is I think I love you?

Despairing, in a tower of iron. Miles of stairways and no doors. Gifts appear at random. Almost all are heavy.

*****

Had to talk myself out of purchasing a pressure washer. Rationalized it by how much I'll save on car washes. Except I rarely wash my car. But can clean driveways and patios too! I have those! But no. Someday, but not today.

More wild antics at the house! Yesterday, we planted clover. Will it live, will it die, will it fade, or will it thrive? Who knows! Success means less dust in the house from blowing wind. Erosion is the enemy, unless it's making a cool new canyon, but not in my backyard. Okay, maybe a little one.

I hurt my back cleaning Watson's ears. He hates it and there was a lot of wrasslin'. From what I understand of back pain, nothing helps and everything is terrible, so I'll just deal with it. Through sheer force of will. I tell the pain, SHUT UP.

I just sat through a meeting in which we sat through an advertisement for a self-help book. I'm feeling feisty after holding my tongue through those meaningless platitudes. ONLY YOU are responsible for your success. If you fail, it's because you're not a good enough employee, that you lacked the SHEER WILL to succeed. It's unrelated to the fact that the workplace spends zero resources on training, development, and implementing institutional changes to effect meaningful change.

What was I even doing yesterday? I dont know. Paying bills, maybe? Shopping on Amazon for crazy hats? Something worse?

I stayed up too late again last night. Blame should be cast on the sun setting later, not on myself. 

Emotionally complex situations becomes easier to bear over time. The previous statement is likely false.

What an excellent Presidents Day! Ender, Remy, and I went to the shoe store, the liquor store, In-N-Out Burger, and watched "The Simpsons". I even spent some time playing with my nieces, as my mom was watching them when I went to pick up the twins.

Genevieve threw a big stuffed bear and a pillow on me, and I wore the pillow on my head like a hit. I could drop down under the teddy bear so I was hidden. I popped up and started mooing like a cow. Genevieve pretended to be made and stomped towards me, and I made a scared squawk and dropped down. Then we did it again a bunch more times.

Noel and Genevieve loved it. Cows are always funny.

Tax return time! Oh, what frivolous spending shall I indulge in? Perhaps a mini-fridge/beverage center for all our booze, a new couch, or a new 4K TV. Perhaps I'll even pay my medical bills or credit card debt.

The possibilities are endless!

I'm taking Monday off. The twins have it off too, so we're going to hang out and be lazy. Probably play video games. There was a time when having the boys over meant they would play video games and I would clean up the house, do laundry, and organize my life. Thank Cheesus that I have the PS4 Pro now.