"So how is it?"


"How's what?"


"What do you think? Being a Neutral Good. How is it?"


"It's all right, I guess."


"Hey, that's cool. Here, I got you this road sign."


"Thank you, but I don't own a road."


"Pssh. And you never will; not with that attitude."



NOW IT'S TIME FOR...

Foreign Holidays of Little-Known-nes!

Tomorrow is the 6th of January, Three King's Day. In Mexico, gifts are given on this day in emulation of the three kings that visited baby Jesus. Besides the difference in date, there is another notable discrepancy: The number of gifts is often limited to three.


Mexican parents justify this to their children by telling them that kings are too lazy to carry more than one gift. Another popular rationalization is that kings only have one hand free for gift-carrying because the other hand is busy oppressing peasants.


It is also common for the number of combined gifts to total less than three. In the event the child is foolish enough to cite the historical precedent of three gifts, the child will be scolded for equating themselves to baby Jesus, told that in any case Jesus probably kept his room clean, and to go clean up the kitchen.


If the child is particularly foolish and points out to his parents that they did, in fact, name him Jesus, (pronounced 'hay-soos' in Mehico) the boy will promptly be visited by the three kings of "Ain't-No-Child-Protective-Services-In-This-Country-Smart-Guy."


And that is why so many native Mexicans risk their lives to come to this great country of ours where there is no cap on present-giving and smart-ass children are treasured and revered.


I'm pretty sure that's why I'm here.

You scored as Neutral Good. A Neutral Good person tries to do the 'goodest' thing possible. These people are willing to work with the law to accomplish their goal, but if the law is corrupt they are just as willing to tear it down. To these people, doing what's right is the most important thing, regardless of rules, customs, or laws. Neutral Good 65% Chaotic Good 60% Lawful Good 55% True Neutral 50% Lawful Evil 40% Chaotic Evil 40% Lawful Neutral 35% Chaotic Neutral 35% Neutral Evil 35% What is your Alignment? created with QuizFarm.com

Guillermo V. The Corporate Lifestyle (Part 17)


The past couple days have been interesting. I've been coming to terms with two painful facts: I am horribly unhealthy AND I am actually becoming engrossed in my work.


I think that's why I'm subconsciously trying to get fired.


We had a "secret Santa" before the holidays. My present didn't come in time, but I got it yesterday.


It was a StrongBad t-shirt.


I whooped and hollered, hugged my friend Ryan who gave it to me, then I put on the shirt over my long-sleeved button-up shirt. I glared about, trying to look menacing, daring anyone to bring up the fact that Wednesdays are not "Casual Fridays."


No one said anything.


I wore my StrongBad shirt over my work clothes for the rest of the day. I was not bothered by any of my superiors.


I didn't expect them to. A mere half-hour earlier, during break, I had been jumping through puddles in the rain and my kakhi pants were completely soaked.


Today, I was sitting on the floor trying to take apart my desk. I failed miserably. I should have expected failure. The desk had survived many a mail clerk before me and will certainly survive many after me.


However, I managed to get a lot of thick, black grease all over my face and hands. I left it on.


I looked like a rogue mechanic on the warpath.


Again, I got a few odd looks but not a single reprimand.


Which leads me to the conclusion that either I can get away with whatever I want...or nothing I do really matters.


Either way, it should be interesting.


I guess only time will tell. That or my inter-office e-mail.


I hate insurance.

Right now, in Philadelphia, more than 10,000 literature scholars are gathered for the Convention of the Modern Language Association which began yesterday.


Right now, in Philadelphia, more than 10,000 literature scholars are terrorizing bars across the city, swarming upon bartenders like a plague of locusts, only literature scholars are more annoying than locusts because they'll get too drunk to stand upright and still try to correct your grammar.


How I envy them.


Not that I have significant reason to. (Heh, I just ended with a sentence with a preposition; howd'ya like that?!) The night before Christmans Eve marked the beginning of the end of my hermit streak I'd been setting since the end of the semester. Now, with my ears still ringing from loud music and eyes red from lack of sleep, I'm almost glad to settle down into a regular work week.


Then again, Sibbitt made me a gift of a Cuban cigar he acquired on his travels (the kind old man Hemingway smoked) and a bottle of homemade apple brandy. If anyone would like to share a good cigar and get drunk (or as the MLA might say, get literary,) I shan't be far.


What a wonderful time of year.

I've been out advocating Capitalism this holiday season along with millions across the world. It's quite magical.


Well, it's been interesting, at least.


Whenever I buy a book I puzzle over the disparity in prices between the United States and Canada. Why do Canadians get charged so much more?


I'm certain that someday Canada will publish a book so amazing that everyone will have to have it and then the literary tables will be turned; the price for Canadians will be a mere $2.75, but in the US the book will be sold for no less than $20 and a written apology. At least.

blogsugarsexmagic

I heard a joke. I'd like to share it with you. It's about bats, which I like, and about priests, which I don't like as much as I like bats.


Three priests are sitting around in a bar, drinking and talking. Naturally, the conversation turns to problems at work. "I must tell you," says the first priest. "I'm having a most unusual problem. Bats have infested my church. I don't know where they came from, but they will not leave. I've already called an exterminator to spray poison where they roost but it hasn't worked. They just won't go away."


"That's awful strange," says the second priest. "I've got the same problem! A bunch of bats are just settin' there on the ceiling of my church. They're stubborn bastards, too. I got so fed up with 'em I finally just grabbed my shotgun and let 'em have it. Didn't work, though. Now I have bats and holes in my ceiling."


Then the third priest says. "You know, I know exactly how you feel. Not too long ago, I had the exact problem the two of you just described."


"Well, what'dya do?" the second priest asks.


"Well," the third priest says, "I went up to those bats, I baptised, I confirmed them, and I haven't seen a single one of them in church since."