Sleep: Part 37

There was a lot of not sleeping happening last night. I woke up every hour, like a military-style punishment. At 4 am, I contemplated going into work, you know, really get a head-start on my day. 

That's how insane from weariness I was. 

I focused on enjoying being cozy. Lots of people are miserable. But how many of those are miserable AND have a teddy bear and two body pillows? Not nearly as many, is what I choose to believe. 

I'll try again now. 

I've got a pretty good feeling about it. 

cars

I purchased a used car

It's dark dark blue

Almost purple

Look a new bruise on an old

It's larger though

Than my bright yellow hatchback 

And it is good for traveling long distances

With all my things in the back

When it became time to negotiate 

I would not give up my little yellow car 

In exchange for percentage Discount Over Time (DOTS)

Where I held you once 

Where I can still imagine the scent of you 

keepsake

She promised she would tell me 

If she was going to leave me forever 

Although now that I recall that moment

(as I can recall every moment spent with her) 

She never specified exactly how

Puffy white cumulonimbus shaped like an anatomically-correct shattering heart?

Sliver of moonlight breaking through a blackout curtain? 

A recall on my exact prescription of antidepressants?

Clever girl

She must have known I'd know her anywhere

And march on

Despair sucking my boots into the mud

Can't stop moving

In case I'm wrong

(as I've been wrong so many times before) 

And she's still there, somewhere, waiting

the deja vu

In stress awakens deja vu

The illusion that I've already lived this

Perhaps it provides a sense of control

Defense Mechanism 

Or it's torture

Meeting the same fate every time

a Merry Go Round 

into a brick wall 

That would work

At least, that's what I would do

If I were trying to torment me

A future of aphthous ulcers

I heard the cure for canker sores

is to grind salt into them

I've got salt

And a lot of time

At least twice as much

If this deja vu means I'm going around again

My lovely caldera 

almost tomorrow

Just kidding; it's never tomorrow. It's only always today. 

That isn't true. Time zones exist and so for some people it is tomorrow. Not for me. 

Wait that might not be true either. 

I'm in somebody's tomorrow, today. 

At least I hope I am. 

It's a good thing time is made-up or this could get pretty confusing. 

That isn't true. Time is real, it's just probably not exactly what we think it is. 

I can close my eyes and travel through time. 

Speed ahead to where I'm with you again. Oh wait, no. Then what would we talk about? Time travel? No thank you. I better proceed the regular way. 

If we could fast-forward through all the hard parts in life, what would even be left?

haunted houses

They exist, I'm sure, and will exist

Not that it matters much

What is time, to a ghost 

Nature will reclaim all houses eventually

And ghosts don't seem to haunt glen or vale as often

Property perhaps 

An imaginary bond

Spectral fingers clutching phantom deeds

Signatures binding fates 

Absurd 

That death would shackle us so uncreatively 

Crater

Meteor strikes leave lakes

After their impacts cool and enough rain falls 

Life returns