Having a week off of work was good for me. I realized some things. First, I'm running out of ways to rearrange my living room. Second, I need to read more. My brain likes it. Watching YouTube has become my default. Passively consuming assorted bits of entertainment. Niche topics, usually. Could be watching nature documentaries or history. Instead of clips of cartoons.

I joked about purchasing a hideaway bed that folds up into the wall. That way my days off aren't spent entirely in the sack. I'll get up, fold up the bed, get showered and dressed, and then go lie on the couch if I want to keep sleeping in. It will need one of those timer locks like pharmaceutical safes. Goes up at 8 am, doesn't come back down until 7 pm.

Until I devise such a contraption, I'll try to just get up and drink a whole bunch of tea.

Stayed up a little late last night watching "Hold The Dark". Had the front door open. It was cool enough to wear my pea coat, as long as I was only in my underwear. Which I was.

Drank chamomile tea with copious amounts of honey.

Stumbled across a band called "Rainbow Kitten Surprise". Digging it.

Digging other things. Ditches and holes. Or I would be if I weren't trying to avoid injuring my feet. Walking every day gives me very little in the way of recovery time.

Might be time for new shoes.

We can speak of neglect. A lack of proper attentiveness. Stagnation. Everything is connected.

This weekend I went over to Emma's to hang out for a bit. There was also a gathering at Jen and Alan's but I didn't go. Stagnation creeping int other things. Felt bad.

Stayed up too late last night. Read a bit. Tried to stay off the cell phone. I need the quiet.

There is a hurricane, Hurricane Rosa, whose remnants brought rain last night. I opened the front door and the dogs sat and looked out. Watch dogs, watching and watching. Need to build a little porch for them to sit out when the weather's cool. Maybe I'll sit on the porch as well and cast a baleful eye at all who pass.

I'm back, baby.

Kelly and I went to San Diego for a few days. We took the hounds along. Watson finally got to see the beach. He loved it, although the first day he drank a bunch of salt water and was a bit sick. I think he learned the second day and didn't try to drink the ocean completely dry.

Walking back from the beach, I admired the seaside homes with their nautical theming and large windows. What a lovely home to be lonely in, I thought.

We came home, and I had a couple more days off. I took the boys to the bus stop in the morning, just like I used to. It got me out of bed at a reasonable hour, which was also a plus. I read a book, walked and gamed, did some laundry. Even threw away a bit of stuff.

I felt lost in time. I'm trying to view my home as the space that nurtures behaviors. How to make it nurture the behaviors I want is the hard part.

I need a bed that folds up into the wall, and then gets locked in by a timer. So I can resist its pillowy siren call.

Took my mom to Cornish Pasty for her birthday on 9/11. She had her first ever Irish Car Bomb. She teased me and said "Are you worried I'm going to get drunk and embarrass you?"
I said "No Mom, I get annoyed by you, but I don't get embarrassed of you."
She smiled and said "I like that!"

Of course, I certainly remember being embarrassed of my parents when I was younger. I suppose that started changing once I began seeing my parents as their own people and not just as my parents. There's this period early in your life where parents are like an extension of your own personality, like all those other feelings that can't be controlled. We feel like parents to our parents, in a way. Maybe it's practice for the future.

In the middle of my life's journey, I found myself in need of a scheme. Something to keep me out of trouble. I could walk more, I suppose. I can probably tolerate it. Find something around the house to tinker with. That's a thing people do; alter their homes. Oh, that's right, I was going to pare down the amount of needless crap. Or do something to my closet. I forget.

I'm sure it will come to me.