I've taken up the violin again. My dear friend Jenna is loaning me hers and I've been hard at work to get back to my former proficiency. Last night I finally achieved it. Now, if someone were to observe me playing from a great distance, or perhaps through a very thick window that blocked the transmission of sound, that person might think "Hey, that guy's playing a violin."

But that person would be wrong. I knew how to play the violin many years ago, but I never knew how to play it well. However, I can sure as hell look like I'm playing the violin. Even the most elaborate compositions were no match for my musical pantomimicry. Yet I was still stuck as a third chair violin. Indeed, had there been a fourth chair, a fifth chair, or perhaps a small grass hut just outside of the concert hall I'm certain the conductor would have put me in it. I realize now the fatal error in my fake musical skill. I wonder to this day how long it took before my conductor noticed that I never turned the pages of my sheet music. Not too long, I'll bet. Probably not too long at all.

"Babies," I tell them, "Don't be such babies." They do not listen.

I don't mind terribly. Ten-month-olds are somewhat annoying, but children are like taxes: they only get worse. Unless you're in Portland; it's property tax that'll get you there.

Now would be a good time to celebrate Pants-Down Friday except that my mother has the day off from teaching for some reason. Also, Pants-Down Friday has been very difficult to explain to Child Protective Services.

Oh, of course! Today is Good Friday, the anniversary of the very First Ever Pants-Down Friday. It is also the weekend of Pants-Down Sunday, a festive day when everyone gets together for the big Easter Pants Hunt. The Easter Pants Hunt involves searching for brightly colored pants that we hide around the yard and house. It's a good time and well worth the effort of dyeing all those pairs of pants.

Uh-oh, Joshua's trying to dunk his Oreo cookie in the dog water. Gotta go.

Again, check out xkcd.

New webcomic! I heart xkcd immensely. Even the math and computer programming jokes that I don't understand. Perhaps someday I will, and on that day I'll stop whatever I'm doing and proclaim to the word: "Ooooooh...."

In other happy news, I've found methinks! It's been a good couple of days.

I'm a freelance nanny again. I go by the pseudonym of Billy O'Pear, babies shaken to your satisfaction or your money back.

I'm joking of course. I've learned from people that watch CSI: Miami that it is pretty easy to tell if a baby shook itself or if it had help.

I'm at my parents' house watching my twin nephews. They're pretty cool, and fraternal enough to keep me on my toes. They both crawl now at conveniently disparate rates. If two babies are crawling toward respective harms I can time it to rescue them both. Or at least fully watch one hurt himself and then still have time to catch most of the second injury.

Ender, the slightly older one, is fond of pulling himself up onto couches, walls, and unstable chairs. Loves it. Thus my baby-catching ability has increased tenfold since I started this gig. I think that counts as one of those "life skills" my guidance counselor was always talking about. Or might have talked about if I had ever spoken to my guidance counselor.

After seeing the new Ninja Turtles movie, I understand that I have to start training them on ninja weapons now. I can't decide which for who. I think I'll warm them up first. Get Joshua started on throwing stars while Ender masters the salad fork.

The training will be tough. Tears will fall. Booties will fray. There will be spit-up. Oh yes, there will be spit-up.

A word on prosetry:

I'm not exactly sure when I picked it up but it was probably after John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men and perhaps E.B. White's Charlotte's Web. Their descriptions take a lot more liberty with grammar to create rhythms in the text. I tend to resort to using "and" over and over to link a series of things instead of the usual commas because commas break up the cadence but the proper amount of "ands" gives more of a lilting ebb and flow.

At least I think it does. I could be totally wrong.

Sometimes I feel like this.